Meanest, bitchiest, fuck head teacher.

Today, Clarissa and Maranda came back from their SGA (Student Government) conference, one of which I should have went, anyway we were watching a movie Cool Hand Luke yesterday and finished it. Well today I told them what happend, when we got into English class Clarissa told Miss (FuckHead) Evans that she heard Luke, the main character died and that it had christ imagery, well they talked for a minute and Miss Bitch and Daniel were talking and She said you had the movie ruined, and she told Clarissa she ruined the movie, then maranda who always has to defend Clarissa since Clarissa can not do it on her own, pointed at me and said I told them. Then Fuck head turns to me and says yea I don't doubt it you ruin everything. I replied "I know, I know!" I played it off, then it began to hurt me and I got really upset and was on the verge of tears, I was quiet through the entire movie and was angry by the start of Math. Any way I just needed to vent. God, it hurt me so much when she said that. Oh well. D:

My new love <3

I LOVE ANDY SAMBERG! He is a current actor on Saturday Night Live, and is such a hottie!

I did a really bad thing...

Wednesday I cut myself and have been picking the scab trying to cause the cut to become a scar. I do not know what is wrong with me. I am so stressed out about everything. Yesterday, my dad bought a box of zebra cakes and I ate three packs..Later he asked me really sarcastically if I was hungry. It made me so mad I wanted to smack that stupid smile off his face. All my mom did was give him a look and told him he shouldn't say things like that. All week I have been trying to lose weight, currently I am 157 pounds. Since my sophomore year, last year, I have gained 35pounds. I am trying really hard. I feel so fat and useless, my grades are slipping and I am just a complete mess inside. I need major help. I thought this week off would give me time to recover from last week's horridness, but instead I fear it only made my mental state even worse. D:

My personality part 3 of Analysis

Inside the Room of Your Soul
You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget. You are not a very grounded person. You prefer dreams to reality. For you, it's all about possibilities. You believe that people see you for how you are, not how you look. But deep down, you know that's not exactly true.
Your near future is still unknown, and a little scary. You'll get through wild times -and you'll textually enjoy it. For you, falling in love is all about flirting and feeling playful. You couldn't fall in love with someone who took life too seriously.

Could You Be Violent?
There's a Chance You Could Be Violent
Overall, you're a pretty chill person - and you have a good handle on your emotions.
Sometimes your anger gets the best of you, and end up regretting how you act.
Try to curb your temper more often. It only has to get out of control once to do some damage.

What's Normal About You... And What's Not?
You Are Fairly Normal
You scored 35% normal on this quiz
Like most people you are normal in some ways...
But you aren't a completely normal person. You're a little weird too!
Why You Are Normal:
You would eat meat from a cloned animal
You prefer fiction to non fiction
You would rather be an astronaut than a movie star
You check your daily horoscope
You would rather be pale than tan
Why You Aren't Normal:
You rather screw someone over than be screwed over
If you had to, you rather live without laughter and still have music
You prefer the moon to the sun
You'd rather have cockroaches than rats in your home
When you're in a car, you prefer to be the passenger

Are You An Extroverted or Introverted Girl?
You Are An Introvert!
You're not necessarily anti-social, but you do tend to need a lot of alone time.
You tend to think before you talk, which doesn't make you the loudest person in the room.
While you aren't outgoing, you are a good listener - and you tend to be a loyal friend.
And you enjoy your friends as much as any extrovert does, in smaller doses.
You're more of a conversation over dinner type than a party animal... and so are all your friends.

How Abnormal Are You?
You Are 52% Abnormal
You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul.
You are at high risk for having a borderline personality. It is very likely that you are a chaotic mess.
You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection.
You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.
You are at high risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is very likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Phobic Are You?
You Are 64% Phobic
You definitely have almost all the common phobias... and some not so common ones.
Relax and live a little. Nothing is out to get you. At least, probably not!

What Kind of Girl Are You?
You Are a Brainy Girl!
Whether you're an official student or a casual learner, you enjoy hitting the books.
You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more.
For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests.
A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either!

Are You Id, Ego, or Superego?
You Are the Ego
You take a balanced approach to your life.
You definitely aren't afraid to act out on your desires - even crazy ones.
But you usually think first. Morals drive you as much as hedonism does.
You've been able to live a life of pleasure... without living a life of excess.

Are You Manic?
You Are 65% Manic
You're so energetic, it's almost like you have a superpower.
If you can dream it, you can do it. And without stopping for sleep.
Just make sure you harness your energy for good - not evil!

Are You a Perfectionist?
You Are 94% Perfectionist
You're a total perfectionist. So go ahead and congratulate yourself on a "perfect" score.
The truth is, everyone is sick of living up to your standards. And you're probably even sick them yourself.

Who's The True You?
The True You Values Harmony
You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.
With respect to money, you spend as little as possible.
You think good luck depends on maintaining good relationships with others.
The hidden side of your personality tends to be a little selfish. You only do what interests you.
You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.
When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you make opportunities to interact with many people through club activities or a hobby, then select someone you like.

Are You Socially Anxious?
Your Social Anxiety Level: 72%
0You have high social anxiety.
You have a pretty serious social phobia, and it effects your life more than you may realize. It's possible that you've made yourself comfortable by avoiding situations you dread. But don't be fooled - you still probably need professional help.

What Gender Is Your Brain?
Your Brain is 53% Female, 47% Male
Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female
You are both sensitive and savvy
Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed
But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

Are You A Control Freak?
You Are 72% Control Freak
You are a pretty major control freak, though you may not know it.
While your confidence is inspiring, your bossy ways tend to scare people off.

What Number Are You?
You Are 4: The Individualist
You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself.
You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable.
You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt.
Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel.
At Your Best: You are inspired, artistic, and introspective. You know what you're thinking, and you can communicate it well.
At Your Worst: You are melancholy, alienated, and withdrawn.
Your Fixation: Envy
Your Primary Fear: To have no identity
Your Primary Desire: To find yourself
other Number 4's: Alanis Morisette, Johnny Depp, J.D. Salinger, Jim Morrison, and Anne Rice.

Do You Have a Borderline Personality?
You Are 95% Borderline

What's Your Inner Color?
Your Inner Color is Blue
Your Personality: Your natural warmth and intuition nurtures those around you. You are accepting and always follow your heart.
You in Love: Relationships are your top priority, and this includes love. You are most happy when you are serious with someone.
Your Career: You need to help others in your job to feel satisfied. You would be a great nurse, psychologist, or counselor.

How Independent Are You?
Your Independence Level: High
You are extremely self reliant and autonomous.
You are definitely into doing your own thing.
But you also wouldn't turn down help if you needed it.
You follow your own path, but you don't do so blindly.

Are You a Nonconformist?
You Are 91% Non Conformist
You're incredibly strange. And a weirdness like yours takes skill to cultivate!
No one really understands you. And you're cool with that. You just hope you never have to understand them!

What Dance Are You?
You Are Break Dancing
You are a rebel and a rule breaker.
You are uniquely you, and you expressing your individuality.
And while you're different and a bit weird, you're no slacker.
You're extremely hard working. Having unusual talents is not as easy as it looks!

My personality part 2 of Analysis

What Do Your Initials Say About You? MJW
You Are Stable and Cheerful
When You Are Comfortable:
You are a hard worker. You need security and stability in your life, even if that means putting in long hours.
People see you as solid and dependable. You are always able to see the good in situations. Other find this comforting.
When You Are At Your Best:
You are ambitious, and hard-working. Adversity allows you to shine. You resourceful and able to make due.
People see you as honest to the point of bluntness. But they always know that you'll be fair. You have the good intentions.
When You Are in a Social Setting:
You are unique and interesting. You are fascinated by the world, and you're always experimenting with new ideas.
People see you as mysterious and enchanting. You don't realize how much people are drawn to you.

What's Your Personality Type?
You have a head for ideas - and you are good at improving systems.
Logical and strategic, you prefer for everything in your life to be organized.
You tend to be a bit skeptical. You're both critical of yourself and of others.
Independent and stubborn, you tend to only befriend those who are a lot like you.
In love, you are always striving to improve your relationship.
You have strong ideas of what love should be like.
At work, you excel in figuring out difficult tasks. People think of you as "the brain."
You would make an excellent scientist, engineer, or programmer.
How you see yourself: Reasonable, knowledgeable, and competent
When other people don't get you, they see you as: Aloof, controlling, and insensitive

How Rare Is Your Personality?
Your Personality is the Rarest (INFJ)
Your personality type is introspective, principled, self critical, and sensitive.
Only about 2% of all people have your personality - including 3% of all women and around 1% of all men.
You are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging.

Do You Have an Addictive Personality?
Your Personality is 80% Addictive
You definitely have an addictive personality, and you're probably hooked on something.
Even if it's just peanut M&Ms or online shopping.

Are You Confident?
You Are Not Confident
You aren't very sure of yourself, and it is more obvious than you think.
Your lack of confidence affects your friendships, career, and romantic life.
People know that they can take advantage of you, because you won't stand up to them.
Start realizing that you're great the way you are, and almost everything in your life will improve.

What Generation Do You Belong In?
You fit in best with people born between 1943 and 1960.
You are optimistic, rebellious, and even a little self centered.
You still believe that you will change the world.
You detest authority and rules. Deep down, you're a non conformist.

What Color Is Your Passion?
Your Passion is Yellow
You're a total sexual shape shifter.
You possess a complex sex drive and are very adaptable.
Of all the colors, you are the most likely to be bisexual.
While you the most passionate, you are also very open minded.

I am going to be the next Sigmund Freud! Part 1

My music is an important part of my overall personality. I seem to gravitate to a more hard metal sound than pop or otherwise mainstream music. According to a couple of quizzes I have taken from Blogthings.com: My musical tastes are intense and rebellious.
I am seemingly intelligent... but in a very unconventional way.

I am curious about the world and I love doing something new.
In fact,I enjoy taking risks and doing things most people would shy away from.

However, I am not very physical. I have the soul of an artist. Beauty and harmony are important to me. <---Your Taste in Music Says You're Wild (from blogthings.com)

Quiz: What Kind of Music Are You?
You are energetic and expressive. You love feeling alive.
You never get sick of your favorite things - they're what makes life special.
You don't take tradition or conventions too seriously. You live for the future.
You enjoy remixes and re-interpretations of things. Life is about making improvements.

How's Your Taste in Music?
Alternative Rock: Highest Influence
Pop: Highest Influence
Adult Alternative: Highest Influence
Hip Hop: Highest Influence
Classic Rock: High Influence

I am doing an analysis of myself to discover more about who I am. In dong so, I will take different quizzes on several different subjects such as music, movies, my personality..etc..

New Year, New Me

Even though I have one month left of being a Junior, I am going to change my way of studying. My grades in school, particularly Math, are starting to fall. My mental state can be the blame for this, for I have not had a good Junior year or a good one for 2009, yet. With Spring Break offically starting today, I really need to start focusing on school and bring my grades up. Despite my having one of the highest in History, 98!, I am still failing in everything else. My personal relationships i.e. friendships, family, etc..I am so tired of life in general. I can not but think my parents would prefer me to be a cookie-cutter Disney Miley Cyrus-Taylor Swift listening wannabe, and be into everything they want me to be and not be the person I really want to be. Which is an intelligent, independently strong woman who can think for herself and not have to worry about being accepted by societies harsh standards. But I am at the proverbial cross road and am lost to what I should do. I want to have the perfect life that so many have, which is having the perfect grades, looks, friends, family, and perfect love. But I can never be that, I am who I am, no one can change who I am, but me.

Really, Really Bad Week

This week has got to be the worst that I have ever had! Monday was okay, but Tuesday and Wednesday was the worst! First, this bitch Tamblyn told me on the bus that I looked crappy then kept asking me why I was mad and why I was not reading. I told her point blank that I could not read because she annoyed me so much. Then Clarissa was really mean and cold to me during first period. Second period me and Brian got into an argument because he told me I was causing everyone else to be in a bad mood. Later, in seventh period when I was putting up some things for Miss Morrow I asked Savi to write my name for me on the sign in sheet and she complained and made Chelsea do it. Then on the bus she told me she wanted to sit in the seat alone because her knee hurt her, so I sat in the seat behind her, Brittany Kimmons came on and sat with her! Then as we were cutting out crosses for the nursing home, Savi kept calling me really mean names. Then at home my dad yelled at me because I said he sounded like Brian when he told me I should not take my bad day out on him. Also during History, we were discussing something, I have already forgotten what, anyway and a few minutes late Megan M. asked a question about what we were talking about and I said, " Megan, we were just talking about that for like 10 mins." And she just exploded, "Well I was trying to copy this History I wasn't paying attention to what ya'll were talking 'bout!" I was so shocked at her outburst, my jaw just dropped and me and Daniel told her to calm down. She seriously pissed me off. I noticed that whenever people hurt my feelings I sort of shut down and become very quiet for a few minutes and I dwell on it for the rest of the day. I definitely have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)!

Wednesday was a little better but not that much. I was talking to Maranda about the French quiz we had and I said we should review today, take the quiz Thursday and review for the test and then take the test Friday. She disagreed and when I said "Well.." She said "Well nothing, screw you we should watch the movie Friday and take the quiz today and the test Thursday" Then in Seventh period Savi kept up with the name calling and was just plain mean. Then at home mom had a real horrific meltdown when the phone would not work and yelled and was really hateful to me. When I joked and said I would move out and live with Jean, our neighbor, she just went off.

Friday went a whole lot smoother, but when I did not want to participate with Clarissa and Maranda in an event during FUN DAY, Maranda said Screw you I'm not your friend anymore. before that she asked me if I cared about our friendship and I shrugged, because honestly why should I care when they, mainly Maranda, have treated me like crap. I am really fed up with Maranda's mood swings! God damn it!

Yea, so I had a pretty rough week. Maybe this week (SPRING BREAK!) will be better. :D

OMG!! I"m BAACCKKK!!!

It has been so long since I have been on this blog!!! Well I am back with a vengence!! Just kidding! But I do have things I have to say on here! First, we have finally started Research Papers in English! YAY! I am doing my paper on The Roles of the Women of The Awakening. So far my grades are as following: Thesis Statement: 14/15 (93), Outline draft: 35/35 (100 ;D).
People at school are so such douche bags! Jeez, like my (former) best friend Savi kept calling me fat yesterday when I was trying to eat breakfast, then Thursday Toi asked me for an answer on the math test and I told her I didn't put anything (which I didn't) and she and the drones aka: Ashley, Bridget, and little miss bitch herself Angelica were talking about how I always lie about not having my stuff for them to copy, which they should do themselves and stop asking people for theirs, but I digress! Anywhoo, I am just ranting, well I have decided to blog atleast once a week so it becomes a habit and I have to do it.

Later! :D (my playlist) ----> http://www.playlist.com/playlist/15054298891