I did a really bad thing...

Wednesday I cut myself and have been picking the scab trying to cause the cut to become a scar. I do not know what is wrong with me. I am so stressed out about everything. Yesterday, my dad bought a box of zebra cakes and I ate three packs..Later he asked me really sarcastically if I was hungry. It made me so mad I wanted to smack that stupid smile off his face. All my mom did was give him a look and told him he shouldn't say things like that. All week I have been trying to lose weight, currently I am 157 pounds. Since my sophomore year, last year, I have gained 35pounds. I am trying really hard. I feel so fat and useless, my grades are slipping and I am just a complete mess inside. I need major help. I thought this week off would give me time to recover from last week's horridness, but instead I fear it only made my mental state even worse. D: