New Year, New Me

Even though I have one month left of being a Junior, I am going to change my way of studying. My grades in school, particularly Math, are starting to fall. My mental state can be the blame for this, for I have not had a good Junior year or a good one for 2009, yet. With Spring Break offically starting today, I really need to start focusing on school and bring my grades up. Despite my having one of the highest in History, 98!, I am still failing in everything else. My personal relationships i.e. friendships, family, etc..I am so tired of life in general. I can not but think my parents would prefer me to be a cookie-cutter Disney Miley Cyrus-Taylor Swift listening wannabe, and be into everything they want me to be and not be the person I really want to be. Which is an intelligent, independently strong woman who can think for herself and not have to worry about being accepted by societies harsh standards. But I am at the proverbial cross road and am lost to what I should do. I want to have the perfect life that so many have, which is having the perfect grades, looks, friends, family, and perfect love. But I can never be that, I am who I am, no one can change who I am, but me.