Coming Out: Being Bisexual in a Small Town

BY: MISS MEGZ


I AM BISEXUAL.
That is what I told my best friend of nine years during a tornado drill while sitting in the hallway of our crowded, igneous school. It came up casually when we were naming celebs we were infatuated with. I asked her if she thought any female celebs were attractive, she blushed and named a few. That's when I made my confession, "Well," I said, feeling my heart beating in my throat, "I'm bisexual." I looked at her waiting for an 'ewe', but she just smiled and said, "Really?" I knew then that coming out wouldn't be that hard, but I was wrong. I never thought what others at my school, who are definitely intolerant to any "gay activity", would think of me. A fear manifests when I catch myself checking out other girls, including my extremely attractive Home Economics teacher.

Finding any comfort in much desired information in my library is scarcely in number. In fact,a law passed in Alabama in which any books depicting gay or lesbian subject matter would be immediately pulled from all school or public libraries. I was shocked and angry. Thus furthering my fear of being my true self, a sixteen year old bisexual young woman. I am virgin, but I am worried what gender will be "my first". A boy or the forbidden, same sex? What should it matter, right? If I love the person it should not matter what gender, religon, race or preference. However at the same time, how can I be proud of who I am when I have not one book nor confidant in my town to confide in?

Being bisexual is a challenge, as one can imagine, especially when my parents are old generationalists. Coming out to my dad was easy, but my mom, who wants me to have children, is against lesbianism, whether she is willing to admit it or not. However, my dad is against gay marriage, which I strongly advocate. He believes the ultra-conservative close-minded mantra of: Marriage should be strictly between a man and a woman. Which has to be the most degrading statement if I ever heard one.

It is a shame, I can let complete strangers on My Yearbook and Face book know my orientation, but I can not on My Space because than my secret will be all over school. Everyone in my tiny learning establishment has an account on My Space, therefore anything personal written in a blog...or bulletin can be the next days gossip thread. I guess that's what being in a small town will do. ]-:

So here is my official proclamation...Take it or leave it:

I AM A PROUD BISEXUAL WHO LOVES BOYS AND GIRLS. LOVE OR HATE IT.

THIS IS WHO I AM!

I Wish You Were Mine.

I wish you were mine
to hold.
Love with
smoldering lust so
profound
the sun may explode
at such freightning intensity.
I wish you were mine
to kiss.
Your delicate lips
touching mine.
How I need your love.
Passionately aching for
attention is
this needy heart of mine.
Secret admiration
plaguing my every thought.
Emotions are filling
spilling over.
Yet
No one must know
How I wish upon many a star
To have you.
Oh!
I wish you were mine
dear love.
Alas!
You remain unattainable.
Admiring you from afar
I must.
Wishing for chances
To prolaim
My love
I wish you were mine!

Lovely Dreams

Heart dead.

soul in hand.

drowning in

a bloody ocean.

pain swimmng in

an endless flow.

rust stained razor

dropping to a stone bottom.

water rains down.

life dripping away.

an undying abyss.

screeching white light.

soundless black darkness.

death

has

arrived.

coming to take

what soul belongs to him

mine.

so pale.

no life blooming.

lifeless in illuminating

mistakes.

death never tasted so

tempting.

sudden cold feels the room.

his breath

wispy as the air

surrounding us.

he speaks

but is not heard.

horrible screehing.

menacing darkness.

was this manifestation

of death

a reality?

could this have

been death wanting

to be a salvation

from a seering infestation

of daily pain?

it seems this

may have just been

one of my many

Lovely Dreams.

Scariest Movies top 25

Top 25:

25. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre [original]

24. Jeeper's Creepers pt. 1

23. Psycho [original]

22. Dawn of the Dead [new]

21. Day of the Dead

20. Evil Dead

19. Resident Evil

18. Cabin Fever

17. Silent Hill

16. Children of the Corn

15. Saw

14. The Ring

13. The People Under the Stairs

12. Insanitarium

11. Vacancy



Top 10: My top personal scary movies.


10. The Exorcist [1971]

9. The Omen [original]

8. Carrie [original]

7. Pet Semetary

6. Halloween [original]

5. Silence of the Lambs

4. Friday The 13th

3.House of 1,000 Corpses

2. Hostel pt.2

AND MY NUMBER 1:


1. Hostel pt.1

Bye my lovies!

peace and love!

Happy October!

Angel with the Scabbed Wings

Perfection in life.
Not plausible.
Not this lifetime.
Poor Anna Angel.

She soared above.
Crashed to the ground.
Can she love that
Which destroyed her?

Friends lied.
Though the need was there.
Still scarred Anna.
Will it never
End?

She was loved.
Shunned.
Her trust slaughtered.
Anna is beyond
Repair.

Life was kinder.
Harshier.
She was mutilated.
Comforted.
She will never know
Love.

In the end
We knew Anna
Would be crowned
An angel.

Though her deceased soul
Still haunts those
Who wronged her in
Life.
Poor Anna.
Dead in such a horrible
Way.

None remember.
None even care.
She truly did become
What we knew she was
All along

An Angel with Scabbed Wings.